spikedluv: (mod: smallfandomfest by candi)
it only hurts when i breathe ([personal profile] spikedluv) wrote in [community profile] smallfandomfest2025-11-21 07:16 am
Entry tags:

SFFest38: Prompt Submission Reminder

Today, Friday, November 21, is the last day to get your prompts in for this round! If you've got more prompts to submit, or you've been putting it off, head on over to the Prompt Submission Post and prompt away!
conuly: (Default)
conuly ([personal profile] conuly) wrote in [community profile] agonyaunt2025-11-20 03:26 pm

(no subject)

Dear Carolyn: My stepdad died suddenly of a heart attack two years ago, and my mom let me move in with her. Her place is huge, so she doesn’t want to live there alone. She can’t sell the house because she didn’t really inherit it; she can live there until she dies, then it goes to my stepbrother. My mom doesn’t charge me rent; she said I should save and invest the money instead, so it’ll be there when I do get a place. She doesn’t try to run my life, and I have plenty of room, plus there’s a pool, sauna, tennis court, etc., so it’s a great deal and we both benefit.

This arrangement makes my dad and stepmom crazy. They keep telling me it’s hurting me since I’m not living in the “real world.” And they complain that they can’t visit me at my home. My parents are okay with each other but haven’t been in the same room since my college graduation six years ago. My mom and stepmom don’t get along. But I go over to their house all the time, so it’s not interfering with our relationship.

My dad and stepmom even made my little sister ask why I’m living still with my mom — because no way a 15-year-old is asking that on her own.

I am banking money, I cook for myself a lot of the time and do my own laundry. With work, dating, getting enough exercise and sleep, life is hard enough. Why should I deliberately make it harder on myself just to prove a point? How do I shut them down while staying on good terms?


Read more... )
mxcatmoon: Crockett/Tubbs (Miami Vice 07)
My Fannish Corner ([personal profile] mxcatmoon) wrote in [community profile] smallfandomfest2025-11-20 02:22 am

Pimp: Miami Vice (TV) by Mxcatmoon

Diversity, social commentary, beauty, angst, and major shipping. I think this show has something for everyone.

Miami Vice: Beach

Read more... )


landofnowhere: (Default)
Alison ([personal profile] landofnowhere) wrote2025-11-19 08:40 pm
Entry tags:

wednesday books under a male name

Ariadne in Mantua, Vernon Lee (1903). Readaloud. This play sets itself up as being in the Extended Shakespeare Universe: "The action takes place in the Palace of Mantua through a period of a year, during the reign of Prospero I, of Milan, and shortly before the Venetian expedition to Cyprus under Othello." However it's an odd, sad play, and not one that Shakespeare would have told. One of the laws of the Shakespeare Universe, as I interpret it, is that nobody dies of unrequited love; you can't die of a broken heart unless somebody else dies first to break your heart. (Ophelia is arguably an exception, but still her father dies first.)

Mona Maclean, Medical Student, Graham Travers (a pseudonym for Margaret Todd). I enjoyed this, though the romantic happy ending dragged out a bit. I feel that the title does it a disservice, as it is not a school story; there are a few scenes in the medical school setting, but that's not the main focus of the story. It is however enjoyable as a late Victorian novel with an introspective and intellectual protagonist, feminist themes, and strong female friendships. Also, the love interest recites the poem Stradivarius by George Eliot, which I was glad to be introduced to.

The Life of Sophia Jex-Blake, Margaret Todd (writing under her own name this time, even though Gutenberg uses the name Graham Travers). Sophia Jex-Blake was one of the first women doctors in Great Britain, and founded the medical school that Margaret Todd attended; the two of them became life partners. So far I've only covered Sophia's youth and education; she was a gifted child who chafed at the Victorian education system that wanted to shape her into a well-behaved young lady, but fortunately manages to get onto a path to a real education. The biography has just covered her brief romantic relationship and unhappy breakup with Octavia Hill, who went on to be equally awesome.

The Strength of the Few, James Islington. Sequel to The Will of the Many, and a change of pace from all these old books by and about women. Not as good as the first book, mostly for structural reasons, but still very readable. I'm about 80% in and it's getting to be a bloodbath, but hopefully there will be interesting plots twists in what's left.
lebateleur: Ukiyo-e image of Japanese woman reading (TWIB)
Trismegistus ([personal profile] lebateleur) wrote2025-11-19 04:12 pm
Entry tags:

Monday Media - November 19 Edition

Last week's comparatively busy social calendar meant I read far less than my recent norm, but I still managed to finish one book and make serious dents in two more.

What I Finished Reading This Week

Swiz – Shawn Brown et al.
Swiz reads like the best band zine you've ever picked up: 256 pages of lyrics, illustrations, photos, and interviews and reflections, some contemporaneous, some written decades after the fact, with warts, contradictions, and acknowledged errors on full display. It's a compelling glimpse back into the heyday of DC punk and HC generally, and the development and dissolution of the volume's eponymous band in particular, and it's good stuff. Read more... )


What I Am Currently Reading

Ruin and Rising - Leigh Bardugo
I was in the mood for something entertaining and fanficcy after the past few months' nonfiction tear, and Bardugo continues to deliver.

Shield Maiden - Sharon Emmerichs
Ooh boy has Emmerichs doubled down on those really dubious narrative choices.


What I'm Reading Next

This week I acquired Companion Planting for Beginners by Brian Lowell.

これで以上です。
cahn: (Default)
cahn ([personal profile] cahn) wrote2025-11-19 01:03 pm

Hilo: The Boy Who Crashed to Earth (Winick)

Hilo: The Boy Who Crashed to Earth (and five sequels); Gina -- The Girl Who Broke the World (and two sequels)

Outstanding! (As Hilo would say.) I do not know how with two children I have hitherto been unaware of the Hilo graphic novels, but indeed I did not know about them at all until a friend who was cleaning out her older kids' book collection offered them to A., and then I forgot about them until A. told me I needed to read them.

I don't know, y'all, these are graphic novels aimed towards the Dog Man demographic, I guess 8-year-old kids or so? they are definitely written on an 8-year-old level (complete with the old "let's erase everyone's memory" trick used a couple of times)... and somehow they were also a shot straight at my id. Maybe it's that I was getting over a cold when I read them and so my mental state was that of an 8-year-old. Or that the author was apparently influenced by Calvin and Hobbes and that went into some deep places in my brain. But I plowed through all 6 of the first set of books, and 3 of the next set, without being very aware that I was not absolutely the target audience. And indeed, what it shares so poignantly with C&H is that sense of deep joy. Hilo's very being just emanates joy. He has other kinds of emotions, too, but joy is the one that just radiates from the page.

But also all the characters are The Best and I have a lot of feelings about them! DJ and his large family that is so busy that they don't sit down to eat, but always have room for a few more, why not? Lisa, my fave, the little sister who starts getting suspicious about all the suspicious things going on that the other family members are too busy to pay attention to! Gina who wants to do STEM-y things and not do cheerleading, and her cheerleading-crazy family! Hilo and the ones who make up Hilo's backstory! Polly, who shows up in the second book and basically steals every scene!

The other thing about these books is that they are so wildly inventive. I read book one and thought, wow, that was good, but there's no way the author can pull that off for more than one book. Nope, he pulls it off for the five more in the series. It reminded me a little of how in The Good Place, I thought I knew what was coming in the second season, and then everything I thought was going to happen in the entire season happened in one episode. Loved these books madly, loved all the crazy hijinks madly, loved the deep compassion for all the characters madly.

The Gina books slow down a bit; they are still wildly inventive and with the same awesome characters, but by the nature of the series they have to be a tiny bit more serious, and so the set doesn't have quite the same exuberance that made me love the first six Hilo books so very much (which also do get more serious as they go along, but since it's all part of the same arc it's a little more gradual). But they are still great.


Spoilers
IZZY. Izzy was absolutely my favorite, no one will be surprised to hear. ALL THE PIECES FIT. I legit cried over her.


It's interesting -- some books I have a lot to say about, and I don't have very much to say about these; they're not the kind of books that I feel the need to chew over. (And, I mean. They're written for 8-year-olds.) They're just so joyous that I loved them very much.

HAZZAH!
quillpunk: huaien and xiaobao flirting (MYATB 7)
Ren the Ghost ([personal profile] quillpunk) wrote in [community profile] booknook2025-11-19 04:11 pm
Entry tags:

RIP (Read In Progress) Wednesday

It's Wednesday! What are you reading? 👀
oursin: One of the standing buddhas at Bamiyan Afghanistan (Bamiyan buddha)
oursin ([personal profile] oursin) wrote in [community profile] agonyaunt2025-11-19 11:19 am

Surely you invoke the negative energy that's effecting the vibes???

The yoga studio where I teach hasn’t been paying me on time (AAM: 4th one down):

I’ve been teaching yoga for about four years now and was hired for my first job at this small group training facility. I teach once a week and often sub for one of the two other instructors. I previously got paid monthly. I have a full-time job and this is my side gig. So, it’s money I use for things like gifts, or save up for vacations.
Over the last two years, my monthly payment stretched to being paid every two months. This past year, it’s stretched out to being paid every four or five months. I’ve asked the owners several times to leave a check for me for next week. I’ve also asked if there is an easier way for them to pay me, such as Venmo or direct deposit.
I’m at the point now where I’m owed for over 21 classes ($40 per class). Enrollment in the small training groups seems to have dropped as I’m seeing new members less. People do join for the yoga-only package to come to the yoga classes. What’s the best way to ask to be paid and let them know I can’t/shouldn’t have to wait longer than two months for payment? I’m at the point now where I want to say that I won’t teach until I get paid, but that isn’t really my vibe.

Alison responds: saying that you won’t teach until you get paid should be your vibe )

maevedarcy: (blocco 181)
maevedarcy ([personal profile] maevedarcy) wrote in [community profile] smallfandomfest2025-11-18 10:47 am

Pimp: Blocco 181 by maevedarcy

Are you looking for a series with complicated relationships to personal identity and where you were born? Are you perhaps interested in seeing the intricacies of family relationships when there's crime in the mix? Do you like canon polyamory representation?

If you answered yes to any of the above, you might love Blocco 181.

Welcome to a fandom so tiny, there are only 4 fics of it on AO3 and 3 are mine lmao.

The series is set in Milan and follows a ménage à trois between two men, Ludo and Mahdi, and a woman, Bea, and their criminal career. Intrigued? More details below the cut. Warning: mentions of drugs.

bealudomahdi.gif

Read more... )

Did you watch it already?
Then please talk to me about it I'm starving. There's only like 20 fans of this series all over the world and we're tired of each other by now.
lebateleur: A picture of the herb sweet woodruff (Default)
Trismegistus ([personal profile] lebateleur) wrote2025-11-17 09:22 pm
Entry tags:

Monday Media - November 17 Edition

Last week was a pretty good one for leisure media and entertainment.

Games: A satellite member of the GeekBBQ crew had their birthday gathering at said GeekBBQ this Saturday; between the various attendees we had close to 40 board game options. Many were familiar, but I did play the new-to-me Mountain Goats, which was both a great deal of fun and perfectly suited to playing in a boisterous, distraction-filled environment. Moreover, it is a game I could easily recreate on the fly with index cards and ad hoc game pieces, and probably will do. I played the also new-to-me Wavelength, which lived up to the enjoyability hype even if (as confirmed by subsequent research) the people explaining the rules to us did not quite have them all down.

Music: This week I was part of the live music, first at a recurring Sunday pub session, and later at an invite only(!) house session. The second in particular was a blast: I was the only non-string melody instrument, a fact which delighted the other string melody and backing participants and which is...not always the reception flute/whistle players get. Better yet, I know a ton of tunes that they do not--and vice versa--so there is a lot of cross pollination to look forward to. (I knew things were going to work out when the host remarked, "I wish we had another moody hornpipe to go with Rights of Man." Moody hornpipe, you say? I have several, and I already have them in sets, too. 😎) I am really, really looking forward to the next gathering with both these groups.

Podcasts: Revisited some segments from earlier Grimfrost podcasts, but nothing new.

Roleplaying: The GC DMed a one-shot for the Occasional DM Heist Group on Friday, in which I revisited my goblin rogue--one of my favorite characters. This session's heist involved stealing a magical portrait from an arcane cult mansion. I'd hoped for more arcane cult flavor from the setting than it actually involved, but the heist itself was a lot of fun and we once more managed to pull it off solely through fuckery and smooth talking. As a bonus, one of the players will be DMing a Cyberpunk one-shot for us this Friday, and we set up the planning and logistics for that.

We left Saturday's birthday party a bit early to play the latest session with Newest D&D Campaign, which picked up after a major cliffhanger and concluded on another major cliffhanger. I love this campaign, this DM, and this group so much. This is just one of those campaigns were everything jived at the first session and has not gone off the rails since. Better yet, one of the other players and I are going to set up a mini-session for our two characters.

Television: We wrapped up season 12 of Last Week Tonight, continued to poke halfheartedly at AEW ahead of the PPV, and watched the first hour of The American Revolution.

Video Games: Still playing Ultima IV. Still trying to get the freaking pirate ship. The GC completed Suikoden I and is making steady progress on II, after which I will revisit them myself.

これで以上です。
conuly: (Default)
conuly ([personal profile] conuly) wrote in [community profile] agonyaunt2025-11-17 05:40 pm

(no subject)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend recently moved in with me, and ever since then, my cat’s behavior has completely changed. She’s been acting out: scratching furniture, hiding for hours and even refusing to eat sometimes. She used to be calm and affectionate, but now she seems anxious and territorial. My partner is trying to be patient, but I can tell he’s getting frustrated, especially since the cat hisses at him whenever he walks by or tries to sit near me. It’s creating tension between us, and I feel stuck in the middle trying to keep everyone happy. I’ve tried introducing them slowly, giving the cat space and even buying new toys to distract her, but nothing seems to help. My boyfriend thinks I’m overreacting and that the cat will “get over it,” but I know she’s genuinely stressed.

I feel guilty because I was so excited for us to finally live together, and now it feels like we’re both walking on eggshells around my pet. I love them both, but I’m starting to wonder if this living situation is sustainable. How can I help my cat adjust to this big change without it putting more strain on my relationship? -- Standoff


Read more... )
lirazel: ([tv] believe in me)
lirazel ([personal profile] lirazel) wrote2025-11-16 06:44 pm
Entry tags:

fic: muscle and blood

muscle and blood (10003 words) by Lirazel
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Pitt (TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Melissa "Mel" King/Frank Langdon
Characters: Frank Langdon, Melissa "Mel" King
Additional Tags: Post-Season/Series 01, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Appalachian Frank Langdon, trailer trash (affectionate) frank langdon, Frank Langdon's Daddy Issues, The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, Protective Melissa "Mel" King
Summary:

Frank’s biological father is a non-entity, Mel decides, either in actuality (as in Frank doesn’t ever think about him) or at least in his relationship with her (as in he does think about him but doesn’t want to discuss it), so she’s honestly forgotten that he even exists until the day they walk out of PTMC towards the parking lot and a sudden, rough voice says, “Frankie,” and Frank goes so stiff beside her that it scares her.

Frank never talks about his dad.

merricatb: Image of Kala Dandekar (Kala2)
merricatb ([personal profile] merricatb) wrote in [community profile] smallfandomfest2025-11-16 01:49 pm

Pimp: Sense8 by MerricatB

Would you believe a show that had enough of a fanbase to successfully bully Netflix into submission after a premature cancellation would be considered small in the year of our lord 2025? It's true!

Sense8 (2015-2018), the sci-fi (ish) masterpiece of human experience by the Wachowski sisters (The Matrix) and J. Michael Straczynski (Babylon 5) was cancelled after two seasons because Netflix hates joy and queer people. But fans rallied and got them to bend the knee, bringing us closure for our beloved cluster. And still the fandom is sooo small y'all.

So what's in it for you?

Read more... )

yuletidemods: A hippo lounges with laptop in hand, peering at the screen through a pair of pince-nez and smiling. A text bubble with a heart emerges from the screen. The hippo dangles a computer mouse from one toe. By Oro. (Default)
yuletidemods ([personal profile] yuletidemods) wrote in [community profile] yuletide_admin2025-11-16 05:11 pm

Pinch Hitter Prompts 2025

Every year, well over a hundred pinch hitters take on extra assignments. Many of these pinch hitters are signed up to Yuletide, with an assigned writer and recipient from the start. Some are not!

Though these supporting pinch hitters are not guaranteed a gift, we'd like to make it a possibility. On this post, we're collecting prompts from the pinch hitters who are not signed up to Yuletide, so that others may give them treats.


To writers
Please consider writing a treat for a pinch hitter! See instructions for how, where, and when to post a treat. Full-length gifts for pinch hitters are welcome in the Main collection.


To pinch hitters
If you are signed up to Yuletide this year, this post does not apply to you, but we still hope you enjoy your gift(s).

If you are not signed up to Yuletide this year but you have claimed or posted a pinch hit, please comment to this post with your requests! Please limit yourself to Yuletide-eligible fandoms, but you can ask for more than 8 different fandoms.

Yuletide 2025 tag set on AO3
Tag set as a browser app

You can treat your comment as a Dear Writer letter, with likes and prompts, or include a link to a letter. Either way, please include the following information when you comment:

-your AO3 name
-your requested fandoms [please format the fandoms exactly as they are in the tag set if possible]
-your requested characters

and, optionally, ideas for what you would like to receive, DNWs, and/or (a) link(s) to other places where you have written about what you would like. You're welcome to comment on mini-challenge posts!


Thank you, pinch hitters! And thank you to anyone on the lookout to pick up a pinch hit - we will post them at [community profile] yuletide_pinch_hits throughout the exchange.



Schedule, Rules, & Collection | Contact Mods | Participant DW | Participant LJ | Pinch Hits on DW | Discord | Tag set | Tag set app

Please either comment logged-in or sign a name. Unsigned anonymous comments will be left screened. And specifically, if you would like to get a treat, we need your AO3 name so we know whom to give it to!

yuletidemods: A hippo lounges with laptop in hand, peering at the screen through a pair of pince-nez and smiling. A text bubble with a heart emerges from the screen. The hippo dangles a computer mouse from one toe. By Oro. (Default)
yuletidemods ([personal profile] yuletidemods) wrote in [community profile] yuletide2025-11-15 08:54 pm
Entry tags:

Yuletide 2025 Beta Readers

It is time once again to organize beta readers for Yuletide! Beta readers can check your fic for style, language issues, canon compliance, specialized knowledge of various kinds, and making sure the whole thing makes sense. Being a beta reader yourself is a fun way to contribute to Yuletide--even if you're not writing a story!

If you're interested in beta reading somebody else's story, fill out the form HERE It will ask about what fandoms you are willing to beta for, as well as other kinds of expertise you're willing to offer. Note that you will need to enter an email address, which will be visible to other users, but we will hide this information after Yuletide 2025 is over. After you've filled out the form, you'll get an email containing your responses and a link you can use to edit your answers.

If you need a beta, check the spreadsheet HERE. All responses will be visible in the tab "Form Responses." We’ll be copy-pasting information from there into the other tabs as we’re able to make them easier to find. Find someone offering the kind of help you need (make sure it's not your recipient!) and contact them directly. If no one is offering what you need, you can also comment anonymously on this post to see if someone can help, or you can sign onto the Yuletide Discord and contact a hippo.

If you’re asking for a beta, it can often be helpful to be clear about what types of feedback would be helpful to you. Examples could be that you’re looking for thoughts on characterization and story structure; or you'd particularly like feedback on whether your story successfully avoids topics your recipient doesn't want; or maybe you specify that you would like a check of spelling, punctuation, and grammar (SPAG) but are specifically not interested in feedback on wording choices.

It’s also courteous to ask your beta reader if they would like to be credited when you post your fic, and if so, how. Some people appreciate public thanks in an author’s note, while others may prefer not to be named.

If you have any questions, comment on this post or email the mods at yuletideadmin@gmail.com. (The beta post is an unofficial aspect of Yuletide. Mods had time to put it up this year, but we don’t mean to take it over, so we hope a non-mod participant can put it up in 2026.)

Whether you're volunteering as a beta, or considering future coordination, we appreciate you a lot! Thank you for helping out.

Also please feel free to share any tips you may have about what makes a good beta experience (either as a beta or when seeking a beta's help).
skygiants: Anthy from Revolutionary Girl Utena holding a red rose (i'm the witch)
skygiants ([personal profile] skygiants) wrote2025-11-15 10:48 am

(no subject)

I am extremely belated in actually posting about Taiwan Travelogue -- I know that I read it before June, because in June was when I was talking about it with [personal profile] recognito and he said 'oh I think it's an Utena riff' and I was like ?? ?!?! !!!! aj;dlkfjs;l of course it's an Utena riff. ([personal profile] recognito's post about it here.)

Which is of course a very unfair way to begin this post because it's many other things besides an Utena riff- primarily of course a story about colonization and power relations, as told through gender and appetite. Taiwan Travelogue is a book that presents itself as a translation from the Japanese into Taiwanese -- which I of course then read translated into English, another layering into the text -- of a Japanese writer's journal of her time in Taiwan, 1938-9. She's there to promote her book, not to promote the project of Japanese Imperial Expansion, of which she certainly does not really approve! and which she is not going to propagandize, except in the ways that she can't help but propagandize it! and she wants to experience the real Taiwan, most notably Real Taiwanese Food. Aoyama's major passion in life is eating, she is a tall young woman with a huge appetite, and the tour guide experiences that have been prepared for her are not sufficient to her desires.

Enter Ong: Aoyama's new entry point into Taiwan, a quiet young woman from a mysterious background who, unlike her other assigned translator, is willing to not only take Aoyama off the beaten path to Unapproved Culinary Experiences but also to provide additional culinary experiences at home in her lodgings. Whatever Aoyama hears about, she wants to eat. One way or another, Ong makes it happen. Ong, it turns out, is the only person Aoyama's ever met who can eat as much as Aoyama can; Aoyama feels a deep connection to her, is desperate for some sense of genuine reciprocal emotion, but no matter what she tries, moving from their employer/employee dynamic into something genuine seems impossible. From Aoyama's point of view, she's always reaching out, and Ong is always slipping away, putting up a barrier. As Ong sees it -- well, whatever she's trying to tell Aoyama, Aoyama does not understand.

The metaphor of colonialism as played out through the inherent power imbalances of a failed romance is not a new theme and plays out more or less as expected here, though it's relevant that this is a book about A Lesbian: one of the things that the text wants to explore I think is how being, in your own mind, in the position of an underdog and an outsider makes it harder for you to see the ways and situations in which you are neither of those things. But really what I found most striking about the book is not the central relationship at all, but the food. The book has a lot of dishes in it, and every dish has a context and a history: the ingredients come from somewhere, the way it's made has a certain history to it, the way it's made in one location differs from the way it's made in a different location, and Ong always takes care to explain why. The portrait of the impact that colonization by Japan has had on Taiwan is largely drawn through detailed descriptions of changing recipes. The book made me very aware of how hungry I am for material culture in my fiction! ... and also it just made me normal hungry.
ysobel: (Default)
masquerading as a man with a reason ([personal profile] ysobel) wrote in [community profile] agonyaunt2025-11-14 01:36 pm
Entry tags:

Um what

Dear Miss Manners: What is the polite way to eat large sushi rolls? Sometimes they’re too big to comfortably eat whole without gagging!

Dissect them.

Miss Manners does not usually condone deconstructing food in public, but these are desperate times. Use your chopsticks to pull out the insides and eat them separately. Then either squish the remaining rice and seaweed together and eat it in two bites or use the side of the chopstick to cut it in half.

Perhaps the sight of their beautiful creations being desecrated will inspire the chefs to make more manageable bites. Or at least have them wonder why everyone is suddenly ordering them as takeout instead.
conuly: (Default)
conuly ([personal profile] conuly) wrote in [community profile] agonyaunt2025-11-14 09:28 am

Harriette continues to be the worst

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend and I were watching a popular TV series together. The show is based on high schoolers who struggle with substance use disorder, mental health, anger management, sexual exploitation and more. We both were making comments regarding our shock throughout the episodes, but at some point, my friend looked over to me and said he feels sorry for my future children. I was wounded. That is such a strong statement.

I tried to unpack with him what he had said, but I didn't get far. He shared that he thought my expectations were too aggressive and that no kid will be able to thrive around me. I think of parenting as a balance between structure and vulnerability, and I've always hoped I will be an honest and understanding mom. Neither of us has children, by the way.

I want my friend to know his harsh critiques impacted me and that he should be more mindful with his opinions in the future. Is it even worth revisiting this conversation? -- Bad Mom


Read more... )
conuly: (Default)
conuly ([personal profile] conuly) wrote in [community profile] agonyaunt2025-11-14 05:02 am

Thanksgiving

1. Dear Eric: For the last 45 years or so I’ve hosted Thanksgiving for my family. I’ve had as many as 25 people. My sister has two sons, and they’ve always stayed with me. Quite frankly, it’s now an issue. Only one son comes but he now has three sons of his own, ranging from 22 to 8. My sister also stays with me. They come on Wednesday and stay till Friday. It’s a lot considering all I have to do for the holiday.

I know if I say something about a hotel, they will be highly insulted.

My daughter also comes and stays, but that’s different. She’s one person and my daughter. Advice?

– Overwhelmed


Read more... )

****


2. Dear Prudence,

My brother has good relationships with everybody but refuses to be part of Thanksgiving, Christmas, or large group events because he says that while he loves us individually, we’re a nightmare collectively. I get it and, frankly, I would love to do the same—my parents and wider family are lovely but bicker and squabble when they get together, particularly over politics, which gets ever uglier. But I also know that my family finds his attitude deeply hurtful. I’m stuck between wanting to opt out myself or trying to persuade him to change his mind because I can see how sad it makes my mother. My instinct is to stay out of it; we’re all adults. But I also feel a bit jealous and miffed. Is there a way forward?

—Stuck in the Middle


Read more... )

****


3. Dear A.J.,

My husband’s brother, “George,” is a recovering alcoholic. He’s been sober for eight months. The thing is, Thanksgiving is coming up, and we’ve always served wine with dinner.

My husband thinks it would be completely inappropriate for us to do so this year because George is coming over, and he doesn’t want him to be “tempted.” I understand that George is going to be battling his alcoholism for the rest of his life, but at the same time, he can’t expect the world around him to be dry everywhere he goes and needs to be able to navigate settings where alcohol is served. This is turning into a sticking point between my husband and me. Is my husband right? Am I being thoughtless?

—Warring Over Wine


Read more... )