Hernia Surgery

Dearest Martha -

I am now set down to write to you of a subject about which you have expressed past unease. You will no doubt find it agreeable to hear that I have finally submitted to the dull, blunt instruments of the local surgeon; this in response to my old war injury. In my consummate folly many years ago, I fought the battle to lift a large television, unaided, up the narrow stairs of my antiquarian villa. I have lived with the resulting hernia since.

I am recuperating in good spirits, and am fondly looking forward to when I am able to travel by mechanical wagon to visit you again.

Yours truly,
B

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I got a couple responses back to my 'Dearest Martha' e-mail, shown below:

Cheers to you, Beatrice! Please inform me by any/all available means as to any needs and necessities which may arise with relations to negotiating your "antiquarian villa".
Best,
M

-and-

Dearest B,

Heartiest congratulations for the (apparently) successful procedure to repair the unsightly bulge in your nether regions. I await, with bated breath, the formal unveiling of the resulting transformation. In the interim, please know that I am available to assist you in relieving any discomfort. During my formal training, the head nurse, Miss Barton, declared me to be the best in our class at administering sponge baths. Please know that my skills are at your disposal.

Most sincerely,
Nurse S

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And on a more serious note, I'm really lucky to have had a bunch of different friends offering to help with anything...some bringing food or taking me back and forth to surgery.

It makes me feel safer in a world that is so insane right now!