Why?

11 Oct 2025 15:40
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Friends over for dinner last night, discussing my mom's end of life care provided by my sister and her husband, and I mentioned that I don't really ever want to be in my 80s.

That is to say, I guess if I were still very mobile and able to do what I wanted, then fine. But otherwise, nope! No interest at all.

That caused an almost bewildered response about how you should live long and enjoy your life. And I kept asking "why" over and over. And there was no real answer.
  • I was like, so you believe in heaven? Then quickly go on to your lovely heavenly reward. Yay!
  • So you believe in a multiple lives, aren't you interested in enjoying your next life? Go find out.
  • So you believe it just fades to black at the end, then why delay? What would be the point?
Why, why, why, why?
Silence. No real answer.
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So a neighbor had their catalytic converter stolen off the car in the middle of the night (early morning) -- unfortunately it's a pretty common thing, given the value of the precious metals in the device. And it's a quick and easy theft.

So I thought I would trade out the bulbs in my carport light for motion-activated ones. Except, um, after I bought the new bulbs, I looked up, and see this lol!
I thought I would change an outdoor lightbulb, but I guess I'll wait ....

I think I'll wait! 😅

The wasps are peaceful, but I KNOW they would not like me changing light bulbs right next to their nest! I am counting 32+! And I never knew they were there at all -- I've been charging in and out of door underneath all summer. I only saw them when I wanted to change the bulbs!
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I subscribe to an online news collector/interpreter. I won't use his name here, but let's just say he's "AP".

So as I was going to bed the other night, I read one of his emails at the last minute, so I guess he was on my mind. In the dream, he and I and a woman were traveling to Tennessee.

And after we accomplished what we came for, we were spending a night at our host's place. But the scenery was not Tennessee - it was cobblestones and ancient monuments...um, Italy, Greece, or the like. And the host looked Greek -- older, chubby, affable, wearing glasses, lots of hand-waving, driving us around in a tiny little car.

The last night I was sharing a bed w/ AP, and the woman took the other bed. Now, if I drink, or if I land on my back during sleep, I will snore like a banshee! I suspect sleep apnea, but as long as I am on my sides, I don't seem to have much issue.

Anyways, I woke up from what I think was a loud snore. But as I woke up, the dream was still in progress, where I woke up in the dream as well. And I saw AP, his back to me, shaking his head and laughing at the absurdity of him trying to sleep in the same room with me. He was digging in a baggy to find some socks to stuff in his ears.

And very oddly, because I was waking up in real life at the same time as I was waking up in the dream, I seem to have a real life memory of this all happening. It never happened, but I have a real life memory of it. I think it was because the dream awakening and the real life awakening coincided. I lay in bed for a minute or two just trying to orient myself!

And then I just started laughing, mostly at AP because he was just shaking his head, and I just found it funny.
karmicdragonfly: (Default)
One thing about reading Old English is that it has definitely opened interesting pathways for me. Old English was originally written in runes; only later was the Roman alphabet adopted. The ones used in Old English are called the "Younger Futhark" as I understand it, to distinguish from the Northern Norse "Elder Futhark" -- Futharc being the order of the first 6 runes.

Today, I've been playing around with them. Thinking of --
"The hail came; the stone remained."
"Se hægl come; se stan ætstod."

-- written one over the top of the other as a wish, or a thought, or a meditation that as the political situation becomes harder, that I will be like a stone and withstand the hailstorm. I believe this would be called a bind rune nowadays.

There are a lot of knowledgable folks online who will argue there is no evidence of runes being used for magical purposes. And that several runes together could be used as a ligature to save space, or when you ran out of space, but not used for magic. And I think those folks are mostly accurate, although there are some historical inscriptions where there are stacked runes, and some used on gravestones, which have the appearance or "feel" of being used as protective wards or prayers. Otherwise, I don't think there is any evidence that we know of for use of runes other than communication.

My thought on this is that I cannot believe the runes would not be used for incantations, prayers, and the like. Since ALL writing is used for communication and for other more, let's call it, "mystical" uses, then why would runes be any different?

As an example of a Christian use of letters as a ligature is the https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chi_Rho" ( ) symbol. It's the first 2 letters of Christos in Greek Χριστοσ. So ostensibly this is a ligature -- an abbreviation -- to save space, but you won't convince me that people didn't use these as magical protection charms. I mean, I think they still do.

So basically, Old English words, sentence structure, letter, runes -- all of it -- has set my mind going down various paths. And I like doing that!
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Staged...waiting for the rain to stop so they can go outside!



Update:

Rain stopped -- looks like we have a nice break for a few days. The "Girls" are out!
Almost Halloween!
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I had taken the summer off from book club. Our numbers had dwindled, and I was either hosting the club myself, or providing a place for another member who is out of town, just a little too often. And I just wanted to have some time alone I think lol.

In any event, I came back for the September meeting and volunteered to host in October. The host responsibilities are to select the book, provide dinner, and give a brief intro to the book as we discuss after our meal together.

For October, I have chosen A Month in the Country by J.L Carr. The reason I chose it is that the idea of spending a month in the bell tower of a medieval church in the north of England, uncovering a mural of the Last Judgement, and shitting in a pit toilet seems like a perfect vacation to me!

A quarter way through the book, I was starting to doubt my choice. But I ended up liking it it a lot. It was a quick read -- short book -- with some twists near the end. And I came to like the protagonist. I have to say, I'm not up on my Yorkshire accent, so some of the dialog slowed me down as I deciphered.

Also slowing me down a bit was a bit of Middle English that popped up variously throughout the book. This was a verse from 2 Timothy. Now, I have never read anything in Middle English, but I dutifully gave a try at putting the text into Old English.

I actually tried to find a translation online, but either 2 Timothy (a relatively minor book) never got translated into Old English, or the manuscript didn't survive, or it's just not available anywhere online.

Middle English:
And he shal com with woundes rede

To deme the cwice and the dede.

Old English:
And he sceal cuman mid wundum reodum
Deman þa cwicu and þa deaþas.

New English:
And he shall come with red wounds
To judge the living ("quick") and the dead.

There's a slight gay sub-story, which fits well with this being a gay book club.

And it has a the feeling of "Fall". “The first breath of autumn was in the air, a prodigal feeling, a feeling of wanting, taking, and keeping before it’s too late.”

It's worth a read.
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Went down to the river today. Here is where I sat to read the chapter for next week's Old English class --


The first wasp family is finally recovering (after queen death and new nest established) --
Wasp Family Update

I love that they have "faces" 😄
Wasp Family Update


I now have TWO Black Swallowtail caterpillars on my fennel, and one in the "instar" phase.

The fennel was drying up during our extended dryness. Now that I have mouths to feed 😃, I am watering when there is not much rain. Luckily, the rain has been coming in downpours lately! If I'm lucky, I will have some photos of an emerging butterfly at some point!



Fascists are bullies who don't have any joy, nor know how to create any for themselves. So they want to take yours away. Let what gives you joy fill you up. Glow with joy!
karmicdragonfly: (Default)
I used to listen to Better Than Ezra 25+ years ago! "Don't you look special; don't you look sweet"?

Somehow knowing they are still making music makes the timeline a little more endurable!

Séan

7 Sep 2025 11:53
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Never one to wait until the last minute and since today was a cool, rainy day, I decided to give Séan his Halloween makeover for the year.

The cool temps have made it feel like Fall since the end of July, so I've been thinking about Halloween early this year.

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The other day, I was in the dentist's office for a cleaning, and a song came on that was sorta-kinda-maybe not the best for a dentist office. I'm sitting there mouth open with hygienist doing her work, and I hear Nine Inch Nails signing "I wanna fuck you like an animal" 😂

It didn't bother me at all. But the hygienist apologized afterwards, saying it was Friday and the tunes are usually a little looser on Fridays. I laughed and told her I like 90s music.

In any event, I've been listening to 90s music since -- Better Than Ezra, Cranberries, REM, The Verve, on and on. Here's a Blind Melon song. I think the singer died of a cocaine overdose, also a very 90s things TBH.
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The US has so many shootings, but today's MN school shooting starts the new school year.

This TikTok showed up a few nights ago. It's painful to watch, and sad. But it's not wrong. And the Minnesota shooting just illustrates that.
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8BLHDMW/
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I had just been lamenting a couple days ago that I had not gotten any photos of hummingbird moths this year. Typically, I see them w/ the Virginia bluebells in early spring, but not this year.

The very day that I was thinking about them while I was sitting on the porch, I saw the tell-tale pattern in the distance; a "bee" was feeding at a butterfly bush, but was not actually landing on the flowers. Hummingbird moths do not land on the flowers, but hover to feed.

I do like how you can see through the wings of clearwing moths -- I believe this is Hemaris diffinis AKA "Snowberry Clearwing":
Hummingbird Moth (Hemaris diffinis) on Butterfly Bush

Hummingbird Moth (Hemaris diffinis) on Butterfly Bush

Hummingbird Moth (Hemaris diffinis) on Butterfly Bush
karmicdragonfly: (Default)
I made my annual pawpaw-gathering trek down to the river yesterday. They seem to have gotten ripe earlier than usual! Maybe because Fall has arrived early this year.

They are not for everyone -- mushy and have sort of an odd taste with big pits -- but I like foraging for wild food, and so I usually get a few each year.
""

Some people make smoothies. I usually just plop them in a bowl and eat!


Pawpaws are only ripe when they look and smell very ripe and are ready to fall off the tree -- generally, I forage for those already on the ground that haven't gotten eaten by insects and haven't rotted. I also usually give the trees a gentle shake to see if any will fall.

Years ago when I was first finding out about pawpaws, I mentioned them to my Mom, and she launched into an old nursery rhyme, something like "picking up pawpaws in the pawpaw patch and stuffing them in my pockets..." It also surprised me at first that I did not know about them since I grew up in a rural area and knew about the trees that grow here. I asked Dad about them, so he asked me to describe them. When he recognized them by my description, he said he didn't like the taste. So we never learned about them as kids because he didn't like them!

They grow in patches (hence the nursery rhyme's "pawpaw patch" reference). And often the patch is made up of the same tree because they can send roots underground to form new trees in addition to having seeds germinate.

Side note: evidently Australians use the word pawpaw for what I call a papaya, but that is not the same fruit. These fruits shown here are native to eastern North America. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asimina_triloba

Here's a chart of comparative nutrition between various common fruits:
https://www.kysu.edu/academics/college-ahnr/school-of-anr/pawpaw/pawpaw-description-and-nutritional-information.php/#Table3
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Thinking about adding a new Halloween decoration this year -- I had seen a post about how to hang 3 heads in cheesecloth. Will give it a try once I get some cheesecloth, but the heads arrived today.

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I went down to my favorite trail at the river yesterday.

Always nice to see a Cormorant. They are only migratory here, so another sign of Fall already approaching! And because they don't live here, it's fun to see them spreading and shaking their wings to dry them off.

Double-crested Cormorant

Double-crested Cormorant
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My first Monarch of the season (on their return migration to Mexico) -- but it is AUGUST! This is not Fall yet! My asters are not blooming in August, so there's not a lot of nectar yet!

First Fall Monarch...except it is AUGUST, and there's not much to snack on yet.  The Asters are not blooming yet.

Don't get me wrong -- I'm loving the cool highs of 84F (28.89C) in August, but so very odd to see a Monarch now.
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I was just saying to a guy in my Old English class that I needed some swear words for one particular lesson (Ælfred the Great's preface to the Cura Pastoralis) because it was so difficult to parse!

https://youtu.be/S1y8cte-LGA

I have ordered the book for myself, and depending on how it goes, it might be my selection for the next time I host book club.
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I remember Trump saying "Vote for me, and you'll never have to vote again."

I remember hearing Peter Thiel say something to the effect of "The population will never agree with us, so we have to figure out a way to accomplish the goals with technology" (Very paraphrased from memory).

I remember hearing Trump saying that Elon helped get him elected.


There is a lawsuit in Rockland County NY. As I understand it, this is a Dem leaning district, where the Dem Senator was elected w/ 65% of the vote. And there were voting precincts where Kamala received ZERO votes.

I also understand that voting machines received a 'de minimis' -- a small/non important/minimal update that did not require review -- update not long before the election.

The lawsuit is proceeding.
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Out of fear for my friends, I waited until they were safely away before posting. This is dated from a couple weeks ago.

09 July 2025 - Postdated

Not feeling great emotionally today.

Some Brazilian friends who are very dear to me have decided to exit the US. They did not give a specific reason, but I believe it is for fear of them or their children being snatched by ICE, as so many others have already been.

These are people that I met before they even knew much English, and I still remember sitting in an ice cream shop, teaching them to make the "th" sound in English -- "put your tongue between your front teeth and blow".

I still have photos in my library of our very first message exchange, me in broken Portuguese, and him in broken English. It's kinda hilarious to read both!

For the last decade, I have watched them make a decent life here, very active in their church, having 2 children and sending them to pre-school and elementary school, and running their own business.

They have had me to dinner, introduced me to their friends, and I have had them to get-togethers with other friends at my house in return. I remember them asking for advice on a baby name that would sound good in both English and Portuguese. Right after each of their baby deliveries, they sent me pictures of their newborns (captioned as if the newborn was calling me "tio" - uncle).

After COVID, although we continued to message, we never really got back to many in-person meetings. I did see them a few weeks ago for ice cream. Today I got a voice recording, letting me know they were leaving in a couple weeks and hoping to see me before then.
He thanked me for my friendship and kindness, and I appreciated hearing that!

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"O seguro morreu de velho, mas o desconfiado ainda está vivo." -- "The safe one died of old age, but the suspicious one is still living."