The "Matt Sadness"
24 Feb 2021 17:03![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
karmicdragonflyI've written about this before over the years about how my first partner died in 1995.
Oddly enough over the years, I have never mourned him on the date when he died (in June) nor on the date of his birthday (October)....but the "Matt Sadness" hits me in February because that is when the dementia hit, and when he became unable to stay by himself, and when we had to move him out of town to live with his parents. When that happened, I could only see him on the weekends, so it was one of the saddest times of my life.
The sadness used to happen every single year. But it's been a few years now since I felt this way, but it happened tonight. Bittersweet memories. Sadness. Joy.
A karmic tie that binds for eternity.
Oddly enough over the years, I have never mourned him on the date when he died (in June) nor on the date of his birthday (October)....but the "Matt Sadness" hits me in February because that is when the dementia hit, and when he became unable to stay by himself, and when we had to move him out of town to live with his parents. When that happened, I could only see him on the weekends, so it was one of the saddest times of my life.
The sadness used to happen every single year. But it's been a few years now since I felt this way, but it happened tonight. Bittersweet memories. Sadness. Joy.
A karmic tie that binds for eternity.